Cornerstone Retreat/Camp 2006 28-29 Dec

K. Cornerstone Retreat/Camp 2006 was definitely a success and a fitting closure to the year 2006! It was a cool experience to be truly honest and there were times when I was truly able to feel God's wonderful presence with us in a real and tangible way. Here are some pictures to get a rough idea of what I'm talking about.

















One of these experiences was at the AWWA (Asian Women's Welfare Association or sumthing) where we visited some really special children. The AWWA was helping these people by providing a daycare of sorts. It was really a touching site... literally.

The first thing we got were hugs by the children and they refused to let go. At least for the 4 of us (Christian, Xavier, Victoria and myself) who went to explore a bit first. I guess the first child we met was... hmm sorry I can't remember his name but he was wheelchair bound. A future flirt lol. He likes only girls, seriously, I'm not joking. At least he was enjoying himself :)

I had a great deal of admiration for those who decided that the time spent with these special children was worthwhile and I totally get why they would do so. I won't go on with the details but we played games and sang with them later in the afternoon. Oh yeah, Jason slipped and fell on the way there and hurt his head. Hopefully, it'll be nothing serious. Anyway, I met this really cool dude. He couldn't participate cuz his wheelchair was spoilt and the only one left was too small for him. (this is another guy) His name is WeiKang. He cannot fully control his muscles or something. When he gets excited, his muscles cramp up and his fingernails will dig into his skin. They bleed at times which is why he has a special ball (like a stress ball) to hold. Unfortunately, he dropped his and he was in pain. I joined 2 other volunteers from RGS(or was it RJC?). We let him grip our hands so that he doesn't injure himself. We teased him about Eunice (a professional help giver person thingy). You guys won't get it but I think Jason does. One thing's for sure, he likes his cool shades, potato chips, bananna chips, oreos and Eunice. At the sound of E. , his face turns completely red. After the 2 volunteers left to do other stuff, Jason and I kept him company till leaving time. It was cool! It was a joy that nothing else in the world can give you. The joy of helping others wholeheartedly. When we did finally leave... everything looked so much more beautiful and the rain felt like showers of blessings from God.

Then came the time for renewal of faith. Everyone was nervous. bert about screwing up one of his songs (he was playing for PnW), vic about not being able to pull it off, myself about the session not being very meaningful etc. A big thanks to GOD that we pulled through and everyone who helped or participated in some way. Even Qinrui helped :) Matt, thanks for giving me a rough idea what renewal of faith struck you as. It helped alot. For those that don't understand, none of the priests were free to come down to SFX for confession. That however was to have been an important part in renewal of our faith. Instead, we decided to use an essay entitled THE ROOM. ( this will be a rather long post... )

For those who want to renew their faith and relationship with the bigmanupstairs... please take the time to read this email...

17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. "I wowed 'em," he later told his father, Bruce. "It's the best thing I ever wrote.." It also was the last. Brian's parents had forgotten about the essay when a cousin found it while cleaning out the teenager's locker at Teary Valley High School. Brian had been dead only hours, but his parents desperately wanted every piece of his life near them - notes from classmates and teachers, his homework. Only two months before, he had handwritten the essay about encountering Jesus in a file room full of cards detailing every moment of the teen's life. But it was only after Brian's death that Beth and Bruce Moore realized that their son had described his view of heaven. "It makes such an impact that people want to share it. You feel like you are there." Mr. Moore said. Brian Moore died May 27, 1997. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck an utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted. The Moores framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. "I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it," Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death. "I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him."

Brian's Essay: The Room

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched", I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me.
One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot.

Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.And then I saw it.. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained with one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red, so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room.

There was no lock on its door.

There were still cards to be written.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."- Philippians 4:13.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16

Hopefully, this essay will touch your heart as it did mine.

What would our cards say?
The blood of the lamb covers our sins.
We are cleansed by his blood.
Are we showing our gratitude to him by the way we live our lives now?

God bless, have a Blessed Christmas and New Year ahead.

Joshua

PS: Once again, THANK YOU to all who participated and helped in this retreat!

wrote at 11:39 PM
________________________________________________________________________________________________

Merry CHRISTmas!!!!!

K... let's see... went for pageant and midnight mass. SUPPOSED to discuss stuff about the camp before BUT we couldn't do much lol. Hahaha... Better start praying if we hope to get everything done.

Anyway... i feel so bad lol. I forgot about Christmas cards completely this year. I got so many of them after midnight mass too... Haha... The guilt is overwhelming. Really!

Oh yeah... had to upgrade my ipod to a nano. Long story and i shall not bore anyone reading this with it. BTW, forgot to add one more thing to the did during the holidays list - visited josh's (jesse's) blog. LOL the comics are cool haha.

One last thing - Cornystoners, check your mailbox in our room when you come for the retreat :p Too bad i didn't BUY any cards.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wrote at 7:01 PM
________________________________________________________________________________________________

No Idea What The Title Should Be

Sorry for the delayed update. My computer was ehhh... near impossible to switch on. I think it doesn't like me. Anyway, the song I was talking about in my last post, no longer stuck in my head and in fact, is becoming slightly irritating. ipod battery also not working properly so I haven't used it in quite a long time which is definitely a shame.

Ok... let's see. What's been going on in my life during the holidays... Completed FFXII, watched 2 or 3 episodes of Nip/Tuck (fine... it was quite good, just a bit sick at times), tried to switch on com many many many many many many many times, went out with friends, Legion meetings (i slipped on a big puddle of water and fell into mud... noooo... lol... the one who carried the stuff got more dirty than the people who played soccer haha), Cornerstone meetings, made some funny concoction and stupidly paid Jeremy one buck to drink it (he enjoyed it thoroughly, the drink is made up of a tiny bit of sprite and sparkling juice with the main ingredients being bandung and kickapoo - the acid curdles the milk according to Matthias) at the Christmas gathering at Melvin's place, going out again tomorrow, read newsweek and falling way behind, celebration of 4 years in SJI with Mr Ang (we got him a Waterman Pen with "Hot and Single" engraved on it hehe), Adelaide and Kangaroo Island, boredom at times, eating and basically sleeping. [These events are not placed in any particular order] (lol).

I wonder what JC would be like... CJC in particular. I only just realised how many people were going to CJC from Legion and Church. Those that I know will go CJC for first 3 months - myself, mat, bert, joel, dominic, josh, marcus(maybe), dan, simeon, xavier, is aloy going? At least I will know some people there. A big change for me would be studying in the same school as girls since for 10 years I've only been in an all boys school. Hope they won't be too much of a distraction lol.

One last thing, I should probably start attending daily mass again. Let's go mass Qinrui if you're not too busy with NJC stuff already.
Josh signing out.

wrote at 5:36 PM
________________________________________________________________________________________________